are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
