bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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