You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my liver is dry heaving
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
