Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize