hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
