we have officially lost it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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