Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
