If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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