You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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