She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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