You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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