I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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