And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
