i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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