once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
