So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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