So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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