What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
