wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
