Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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