We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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