It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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