Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize