Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize