We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
