I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
