I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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