and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
