Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
