Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
