My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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