i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i will never coherently bang her
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
