U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
