are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
