This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
