When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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