Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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