Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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