You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
