Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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