apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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