I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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