Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize