She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Text me some of your sweat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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