saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
