next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
