Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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