textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize