I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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