you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
soo... how was my night?
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