the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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