I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
