But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
