i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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