glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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