Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
