he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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