when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
