i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
