I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
