dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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