how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize