I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
