remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
