babies were throwing up all over the place
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
