I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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