Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
