I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
