She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
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