I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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