He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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